James’s Mother

James has arrested his mother
It seems her main offence
Was publicly showing affection
And criminal dress sense

Though she whined for justice
And screamed “Who’ll cook the tea?”
James sited lots of other counts
Dating back to the age of three

The judge got very angry
Stating “Tea is no defence!
I think this case requires
At the least a death sentence.”

But James felt a prickle of conscience
Begged the judge for clemency
Suggesting community service
As long as she still cooked the tea

So his mother got off with a warning
And six hours a week digging roads
The boy had to agree for the sake of his tea
He would turn a blind eye to her clothes