The Sad tale of Benjamin Bloater

Benjamin Bloater was proud of his skill
Of trumpeting slyly and burping at will
Friends frowned as he frittered his gases away
Belching and blasting all night and all day
He tooted at teachers
Boffelled big boys
Puffelled at puppies
And relished rude noise
Relatives ranted and begged him to cease
‘Till raspberries rattled their ears and their teeth
Slyly he squandered his stifling steam
Till noses were pinched and visitors green
He pumped poppers at parties
Spoiled soups and stews
Exhaled and eructed
The foulest of fumes

For this boy, enough was never enough
Till the day he was left with only a puff

Extinguished and empty in wanton waste
Sadly he pondered his slowing of pace
He squashed and salivated
Worried and wined
Stuttered and shouted
But still not a sign

The tale gets sadder as he grew and grew
Crushed cracking and crowded his stomach was full
It swelled till it touched the walls and the floor
Creaking and crushing the windows and door

No escaping or easing
He came to the boil
And loudly exploded!
Shrank and recoiled

His mother said sadly “It’s what we predicted
A justice for all the pain he inflicted”
So here ends the tale of Benjamin’s skill
Of trumpeting slyly and burping at will.


Blogger finnegan said...

This had me laughing so hard I farted myself to near levitation.

11:19 PM  
Blogger MB said...

Great rhythm, Sue! And very funny.

1:02 AM  
Blogger Carbanion Tolodine said...

Peoples don't know their chance before it's too late and use it for not so good reasons. A love it because all people can be Benjamin Bloater without know that fact.

You write as well as i remember.

Best regards,

2:07 PM  
Blogger Russell Ragsdale said...

Great fun! Loved the pace and the rhymes! Glad you're back!

1:18 AM  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

typing is always a problem for this one finger keyboardist but never more so than now as i am crying with laughing!

12:03 PM  
Blogger GEL said...

Delightful! I love the fun rhythym and sounds to the words plus your marvelous sense of humor as you weave this tale (tail!) I read this outloud to my teen daughter who enjoyed it, too! It's appeal is infectious.

8:40 PM  
Blogger NicoleBraganza said...

and i for one love gross poems.

10:26 AM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Fin, so that was the dark object floating around the moon

MB glad you aprove

Carba sadly I know lots of Benjamins, fortunately this poem may save there lives

Russel its good to be back

CJ an excelent new word

S Moon Im just a big kid at heart

Nicole happy to oblige

12:28 PM  

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