Love in a Bottle
A dog faced dawn plods frozen in darkness
Knotting its self through the ribbons of sky
Dusting the dark from the drunk dismal gutter
It loosens the faces of dull careless lovers
Dreamless like absence; eyes draped in tissue
And swallows the bile of embarrassed goodbyes
Creeping and sniffing rodents from sewers
Commuter sleepwalkers faded and grey
Spend their days hoping the dreamers deliver
Full to the brim they empty the bottle; while
staggering forth life swears at the mirror
Crumples up dreams and hurls them away
Knotting its self through the ribbons of sky
Dusting the dark from the drunk dismal gutter
It loosens the faces of dull careless lovers
Dreamless like absence; eyes draped in tissue
And swallows the bile of embarrassed goodbyes
Creeping and sniffing rodents from sewers
Commuter sleepwalkers faded and grey
Spend their days hoping the dreamers deliver
Full to the brim they empty the bottle; while
staggering forth life swears at the mirror
Crumples up dreams and hurls them away
posted by Sue hardy-Dawson at 3/01/2006 09:12:00 PM
16 Comments:
Your poems are so hot with life! I love the way you write with such freedom.
This amazing poem slinks and snakes throughout life and keeps us on its tail.
I LOVE this!
What a smart one you are.
Thank You!
That's some heavy reading! Nice :)
You truly write some great poetry! solid imagery and evident emotions.. lovely! Very fine indeed! :)
Just discovered your blog. So many layers to each line. Will keep peeling away! Nice work.
Q Neetee thank-you, I will be blogging again later when I've finished course work boo hoo!
Nessa sorry I know it is but that's how I get rid of the bad stuff
xfreakx thank-you
Inkblot nice to meet you, call back with a poem peeler.
It's look like an old movie. A grey street with an investigator that go for his office after a blind-night.
I love it!
Take care of yourself, bye.
Ah, the dream is but a carrot to get you from sunrise to sunset, but we still own the night! Great poem!
I've never seen anyone do with such accuracy the pace at which dawn breaks for the anxious and the cold. Ah, so many angry papers full of frustration as our dreams collapse in upon themselves in the hopes that they were poems (something of value). Negative energy is truely emptiness (I know I've gone a bit past the poem now). Great stuff Sue!
Carba you have picked up on something there it has a sence of the outsider watching all the greyness.
Pat the night is such a special time when your mind might easily choose between creativity and nightmare, you never quite know which
Russel, sometimes the world is bitter sweet and the balence often swings in the wrong direction. But often when the darkness hits the love of friends can light a corner and put things in prespective-keep writing your dreams
It's interesting how this is so vividly written yet conveys a sad, tired feeling.
Ouch! that hurt..I think I echo Finns here..its a feeling one fights hard to get rid off..very hard-edged-reality stuff here..fab!
Fin I call it blanc-mange land, its how it feels to walk through it, perhapse there's a good dream there somewhere.
MB I think sadness and anger focus the mine and create vivid immages
Pins writing down the feelings is like talking to a good friend.
Hia! Long time to blogging for me...life starting to slow down a bit now hopefully though always challenegd by the latest social work essay that I have to write.
We have a list pinned on our fridge of all the words jacob can now say....I feel a poem coming on.... had two published in the silence ive been away.
speak soon, laura
ps in case u dont remember ...thats the one u uswed to work with!
Castor it is truly beautiful,I couldn't have imagined it better.
Laura, how could I forget, great to hear from you, is your email up and running now?
WOW!! What a powerful Write!!
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