20060110

And Now For Something a Little Lighter

Documentary

To study the habits of teachers
Pretend you are working
Whilst observing them
Through small holes in books

Make notes of colour changes
Before shouting is heard
Advanced warning of danger!
Or if another teacher they fancy
Comes into the room
Take the opportunity to drop your guard

Teachers usually blush and giggle during courtship
So it’s easy to spot
Watch out for
Good moods
New clothes
Haircuts
Dreamy expressions
Leniency towards small crimes
And a general lack of interest in homework

Careful study will allow us to live in peace with these creatures
Tomorrow we will be studying 'The OFSTED Inspector'


Misunderstood
I hate being a monster mum
The little monster said
I’m scared of other monsters
And I hate it under beds

It hurts when children run away
I jump when people scream
I don’t suit a monster diet
I’d rather have chips and ice cream

I’m allergic to dust and spiders
I need to hold hands in the dark
Who wants to make noises in cupboards?
When they can go play in the park

I guess what I’m trying to say mum
Is I’m different to you and dad
Do you think you could love me as I am?
Cause I’m no good at being bad

Mrs. Brown

Mrs. Brown was unaware
That Tom could see her underwear
He laughed so much that he stopped breathing
And dropped the lolly he was eating

You might think the little fellow
Could be kind enough to tell her
But he’d hated her for years
And cried only laughter’s tears

The sight of someone that he loathed
With skirt tucked in their underclothes
Made the world a better place
Could lead to downfall and disgrace

Mrs. Brown walked tall and vain
Expressed malevolent distain
Though Tom thought her expression flickered
When he shouted “lovely knickers!”

Mrs. Brown began to glow
As all the street saw it was so
Retreating whimpering to her den
As Thomas gloated on revenge

18 Comments:

Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

tried (in my mind) to arrange these three into 1,2 & 3. gave up. can't do it. they all sparkle with that lovely wit and humour that only you can inject.
fabulous sue, fabulous!

9:16 AM  
Blogger MB said...

Wicked funny - your sense of humor shines in these.

6:31 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Thank-you CJ and MB my own little monsters are just partaking in some chips and icecream, thankfully not on the same plate. Bless!

9:02 PM  
Blogger Lorena said...

these poems are adorable. i like how you titled the first "documentary".

5:17 AM  
Blogger Shubhodeep said...

hehe, very good change!

guess what, i had a teacher called Mrs. Brown, in middle school, and really i hated her. especially since she markedon of my essays 1 1/2 out of 5 cause she felt i had 'learnt by heart'. :-(

this poem sure brought some cheer. :-)

9:36 AM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Shubhodeep revenge is great isn't it

4:21 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Lorena thank-you I nearly missed you there, sometimes I find the kids anelzing us adults, well I tell myself I am one anyway

4:35 PM  
Blogger Russell Ragsdale said...

You know I would specially enjoy the one about teachers. I'm blushing! Isn't life funny and wonderful sometimes!

4:36 PM  
Blogger Carbanion Tolodine said...

Those poems make me strange... I remember the best of my teachers and the worst. I remember my mentor, one of the best teacher i have ever met. I know a lot of teachers but look the teacher and his students, who are the bad between them?

I enjoy read your poems. Take care of yourself.

4:52 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Russel thats the fun part of being the other side of the desk, for at least the first year if anyone shouted I'd feel guilty and look round to see what I'd done

Carba, I too had some very good teachers and some I'd rather forget and sometimes I write about it to get them back, case they don't know so no-one gets hurt

5:55 PM  
Blogger castor said...

Thank you, Sue for visiting my blog and for your nice wishes!
In the meanwhile I've read some of your humurous poems which I can really need now in my situation!
I also have linked you already on my blog!

Castor

7:38 PM  
Blogger NicoleBraganza said...

Oh you write such lovely childrens poems! The Monster poem is absolutely adorable and so are the others. I enjoyed reading these soooo much. And as it seems to be very popular with your audience, Im sure we'd all like to see more, so....BRAVO!....and.....ENCORE!

1:00 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Castor so glad you had a giggle

1:51 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Nicole so glad you enjoyed them, I posted them specially for you, but I do like to experiment with other things too, it's part of the fun of blogging

1:53 PM  
Blogger Queen Neetee said...

These are absolutely wonderful!
I was leaned up to the computer screen with the biggest smile as I read.

What delights of Saturday morning dessert.

Thank you for giving me such a good start into the weekend.

5:45 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Q Neetee have a lovely weekend, I'm glad I made you smile

6:54 PM  
Blogger Roger Stevens said...

Great!!!

There's nothing like ice cream on chips. Yummy.

9:37 PM  
Blogger Rahul said...

Humourous poem on teachers.The students will enjoy reading it.A very well written poem in simple language.It would be appreciated if you can visit the following link and give your comments.
http://www.xpertika.com

2:52 PM  

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