Home Coming
Over the top
In a hail of bullets
Lead laced willows
Lurk like monsters
Caught whipping boots keys
As we rattle in to the hall
White fire mist
Warm breath trudged in
Hands burned cold grey
A sullen sky drops its jaw
Takes the day
And walks away
Night shut out
Murmurs restless in the eves
Fanning the paper
Till it smiles and
Curls up in the hearth
As the warm arms of home
Tuck us in for the night
In a hail of bullets
Lead laced willows
Lurk like monsters
Caught whipping boots keys
As we rattle in to the hall
White fire mist
Warm breath trudged in
Hands burned cold grey
A sullen sky drops its jaw
Takes the day
And walks away
Night shut out
Murmurs restless in the eves
Fanning the paper
Till it smiles and
Curls up in the hearth
As the warm arms of home
Tuck us in for the night
posted by Sue hardy-Dawson at 11/24/2005 06:04:00 PM
14 Comments:
It like H.P. Lovecraft wrote in the past. It's a little bit dark. I have a strange felling about it. I can't explain it. You wrote well even in a darker style. Your are really good. Bye, take care of yourself.
I read this poem after reading the comments in your preceding poem and saw the info about CJ's son about to go to Iraq. Did that inspire you? This is serious and strong. "Lead laced willows lurk like montster" is very effective alliteration and concept! I always read poetry aloud. This kicks my gut. I think it's supposed to.
SilvermOOn
it brought to mind a not so lovely images. gosh you can write poems and evoke thoughts
Thank-you Carba it is dark I suppose, but I hope it conveys the feeling of the saftey of the familiar
GEL no I see what you mean but the other poem was about a boy who died very young quite unexpectedley, it tore me apart yet the children I knew dealt with it quite calmley, as a mother it touched me deeply. This poem was a combination of the onset of winter and perhapse influensed by the fact that I am reading poetry from the first and second world wars. I hadn't realised how much till you said what you did, strange what comes out in your poetry.
Amie, I often exercise my sad thoughts by writing them down, then I can feel better and move on
This is GREAT! It's like a wisp of knowing and then gone. It's like waking from a dream and trying to hold onto the memory of it only to feel it slip into a deeper realm. And you know that the dream was wonderful when you were there.
A sullen sky drops its jaw Takes the day and walks away Breathtaking!
This leaves me with a similar feeling that I have had after reading Elizabeth Barrett Browning's work. I hope you like her, I do very much, as I like your work.
A sullen sky drops its jaw
Takes the day
And walks away"
These lines are stunning. Poetry at its best! This one has a nice rythm that one can sense.
Q Neetee, thank-you for a wonderful compliment, I'm busy essaying at the moment so notime for much reading for pleasure, it drives me mad for want of the wave of creativity that is always released when I read lots. That's why blogging's so great, you get to read lots of wonderful stuff and it sets your mind off in abstract directions
Thank-you Shubhodeep, I moved that line round the poem several times but it seems to break up the disorder outside and the comforting rythems of home life
The darkness makes the warmth and safety of the last lines all the more meaningful.
Wonderful rhythm--the lines as crisp as the emotions.
Makes me shudder just to read it. I have to confess that I really feel the cold now and the way you turn the words into pictures with lines like 'caught whipping boots keys', 'hands burned cold grey' really define that cold, wet moment that is so (UK) now!
Its a very serious poem, one that makes u sit up and feeeel it! The winter is always a harbringer of darkness in more ways than one!
It packs one hell of a punch this poem of yours!oh yea!
Patry thank-you, although I hate winter, there's nothing I like better than snuggling in the warmth of a real fire watching all the pictures it makes.
CJ sorry I gave you the shivers, I hate being cold brrrrrr, now just shut your eyes and imagine a toasty fire and flickering candles, there is that better?
Pins yes it is, what a misery I am. Dark in the morning, dark in the evening, yuck and damp with double goosbumps
Its been awhile since I have visited your blog. Well its been awhile since I took time to write in my blog also. I feel Im also coming home...
Well here in Oman its still hot but te weather its quite nice in early morning and for us who are so use to 40 degree of heat its quite cold now even though it might be just 20 Degree. I can not imagine being in weather below 0
Oh, I could feel the chill and relished the fire.
Great imagery and sounds.
Thank-you Moose nice to meet you, I like your poems very much
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