20050917

Doing Time

It was just a branch
Or so I thought
May confetti kissed my hair

I didn't know

'The wrongness'

I didn't know

'The badness'

So clasping its coolness
I danced a fine jig

Smashing through my lip
A voice came and stabbed me
Chest lurching
From the air
A heavy hand upon my neck

The yard all empty
Red with words
All angry
Beating down
Like sharp hot rain
Till my eyes burst open
With criminal offence
The evil swinging of a tree
Could only lead to worse

Destined for a life of crime
I trembled by the door
reserved for-miscreants
and malcontents
The clock kept ticking
Through the screaming voices
That wondered how
A slipper felt?
And what lurked there
called 'THE HEAD'?

And lest I should escape
The hand still-heavy on my neck

Older and bigger now
I'm called down to school
About my little one
Heart in mouth........
The clock keeps ticking

Nervous

Voices

In

My

Head

Outside-another-door
I feel myself tremble
And lest I should escape
The hand still-heavy on my neck

19 Comments:

Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

I may still be fiddeling with this one, Im not sure yet, see what you think

5:45 PM  
Blogger Russell Ragsdale said...

And lest we should escape... You're absolutely correct. As Tolstoy said (unfortuntely he was talking about physical maladies here) the sins of the father are visited on the son, in this case we should use mother, daughter. What a great poem! took me right there, both as a kid and a parent!

2:14 AM  
Blogger Quz Boss said...

Wow, that was soooo deep, just kept me readin! Sounds like someone made a little mistake, or may I be wrong... But that was really godd, keep makin mo ;-) PEACE & HOLLABACK

2:08 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Thank-you Russel the head's office has always had an unpleasent effect on me since those short days of inosence

Hi there Quz Boss, thanks for calling by, I did try and return the visit but couldn't work out how topost on your blog, perhaps you can tell me what to click on? Mean while call by any time

7:43 PM  
Blogger stan laurel said...

as a teacher, I really appreciate this poem. I love the continuity between you and your child and similar experiences. This is a well-written moment in time. My favorite line:

Smashing through my lip
A voice came and stabbed me

Well done!

You're invited:

http://undiscoveredpoems.blogspot.com

10:09 PM  
Blogger afp763389 said...

mostly
used to watch

poem

flow
breath

...

:)

11:43 PM  
Blogger . : A : . said...

I think this one was very interesting in the way it carried through.

Thanks for dropping by my blog and for the link. Look forward to seeing you around.

4:42 PM  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

As I have said prevously, perhaps too often, but I was a rebel without a clue at school. This bit of trivia to one side though, I now find as a parent that I peacock myself with pride over any praise that I/they receive but find myself strangely anxious whenever I meet one of their teachers.
bloody bizarre.
Another fine poem Sue. A real delight to read.
When's the book coming out?

5:11 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Hi Stan great to meet you, thank-you for so many lovely comments and would love to check out your blog

Hi afp, probably the safest thing to do

Thanks A and you

CJ, me too, I love it when my kids get praise, I enjoy it far more than if some one says something nice to me

6:24 PM  
Blogger Amie said...

deep! as i never had the chance of being sent to a principal's office or guidance councilor or dean's office or any room for a disciplinary action i can not relate, but i love the poem (or did i totally missed the meaning of it?). perhaps my naughty misdeed then were always ignored.

8:36 AM  
Blogger Pincushion said...

YOu've brought out the child within and the ones outside and conjoined them so beautifully!

The trepidation can be huge and the effects can last a life time, especially in those days of my childhood when corporal punishment was the name of the game...

very evocative :)

9:14 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

My son gets such praise that I decided to fashion a mask from his face while he was sleepiing. Now the praise flows through "him" directly to me. This idea came straight from "Malcolm Midwitch and his magic monkey Melvin" at Cocaine Jesus' "Ritual Acts with Penguins".

I really liked this one Sue Hardy-Dawson. Keep fiddling!

6:01 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Amie thank-you no I don't think you missed the point

Pins these things hang around forever leaving a lasting shadow

Hi Phinnegan, what a lovely immage, thanks for dropping by, call again soon

9:59 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Don't like this number

9:59 PM  
Blogger Brood Mode said...

refreshing!! liked the style and flow

9:52 AM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Thank you Brood mode, nice to hear from you, come back soon

8:57 PM  
Blogger iamnasra said...

The uneasy feeling...the pain and the uncertainty flowing so magically over here

4:29 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Hi Nasra, great to hear from you and thank-you

6:29 PM  
Blogger Quz Boss said...

Yea, U contacted me right, cat ;-) PEACE & HOLLABACK

4:37 AM  

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