Blue Feathers
There's a window in the lobby
Showing only her best side
The flawless precision
Of a false smile
She kept in her Dior purse
For many years I didn't know this
A dull sparrow who dreamt
Of blue feathers to hide
Guilty bitten nails
From scrutiny’s reflection
Each day each part was somehow less
Till I became a shape to
Hang her daggers from
The lead roll
In my grey existence
Sadly then as now I can't compete
I who was not even picked
To play, and now unless
Our paths cross
She will stay forever young
Showing only her best side
The flawless precision
Of a false smile
She kept in her Dior purse
For many years I didn't know this
A dull sparrow who dreamt
Of blue feathers to hide
Guilty bitten nails
From scrutiny’s reflection
Each day each part was somehow less
Till I became a shape to
Hang her daggers from
The lead roll
In my grey existence
Sadly then as now I can't compete
I who was not even picked
To play, and now unless
Our paths cross
She will stay forever young
posted by Sue hardy-Dawson at 7/26/2005 06:29:00 PM
12 Comments:
yes there is some real heavy sadness running through this.
of looking at yourself and seeing all the masks you wear and knowing that you could have been more, that you deserve more.
"The flawless precision
Of a false smile
She kept in her Dior purse"
i like those verses.
i hope somewhere, one day there will be a 'true' smile :)
Gama thank-you and yes it is but it's how I sometimes felt as a teenager.
Lorena yes it's strange that you should say that, my husband once said that the person he first met gave him no indication of who I was, I suppose we all have a public and a private face to some extent and yes I think being loved by those around me has taught me some degree of self acceptance and worth. It's also strange when you meet up with people from the past because untill you see them they stay the age they were in your head. I saw a boy I used to go to school with in the bus station a few years ago and his opening line was "you've cut your hair" I pointed out that it had been 18 years or so, but it was obviously a shock to him.
i am too moved to express myself clearly on this!!!
loved it!!
Thankyou Gulnaz that means a great deal to me
The Window always shows the most the bright side of us...Yet what you see from afar..its not all the true picture...it can be more magical or it can be disspointing
maybe this my own saying:
The one who knows afar, I still remain a mystry in their mind
Nasra you are right, I think this is why people are prone to idolizing pop stars, they see an unreal immage at its most perfect, but those we know and vallue are the real stars
Loved this theme! Your poem is strong, accurate, perceptive, like a light turned on in a room you don't choose to visit but are somehow there. We are so strongly attracted to illusion, it is written all over us. I have spent years trying to decipher that writing.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Thank-you Russel, it is a room I don't like to visit but sometimes I think it needs to be done, a sort of exercism
Thank-you for visiting afp come again soon
Sorry Sue
I have just realized how bad speller I am...I hope you forgive my spelling mistakes..Im so used to my writiing with spell checker and when I tend to forget to check (oh boy..the mistakes that I do)
Nasra I am also a bad speller so you don't have to apologise to me without spell check I'm lost
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