Been fiddling again

Another shape poem bites the dust never mind it sort of works like this, may fiddle with it later.


Bloom in the sky spreading lace like
Till they drop fire flies
back of my throat jacket potato fog
a Catherine wheel drills

Toffee smoking breath jumps out
in shouts and squeals
of people skipping fire tongues mad as
moths waving sparkling wands

and plop into buckets that gasp. Soup
by the trestle load. Raw

Scouts scrawl messy signs and offer tissue fists of hotdog

clouds of onion. Coins clinking, hats pulled further down

Only the Guy prays for rain
He doesn’t know that it always rains

24 Hours

When you polished your long black boots
You smudged his face
With a dull heel print
The face with sad dark eyes
Yesterday it was news

In the mirror your eyes gleam with blue powder
All curled lashes
Hair tongues fresh
Skin and ebony hair
In a flick of red enamel
Newspaper and cotton wool
Shoved in a black bin liner
Like the one his mother buried him in


Blogger Pincushion said...

This brought a smile to my face :)
Loved the flowing feel of it all like a rumbling little train trundling around a countryside and skies covered with 'spreading lace'

The shape is 'round' and the taste sweeet :))

10:42 AM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Thanks Pins, you probably guessed bonfire night is a favourite of mine, all that cinder toffee and sparkling sky.

6:34 PM  
Blogger . : A : . said...

Agree with pincusion. This one flows and flows. Well written!

9:44 AM  
Blogger Gama said...

Do you have books written? the poems are asking for a book deal...
You made me smile Sue :-)

4:32 PM  
Blogger Amie said...

i like the way your words hug each other in your verses. they're always a fun read yet they have meanings. yes, sue do make a book for all of your poems.

8:18 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

This one has a collaged quality to it, especially such mixes as: Through
Toffee smoking breath jumps out
in shouts and squeals
of people skipping fire tongues mad as
moths waving sparkling wands

I like the jingle-jangle mix of sounds to image (which this seems to highlight).

1:03 PM  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

every year we set fire to the bottom half of my garden.
can't wait.
wonderful evocation in your words of that time!

1:14 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Thank-you A

Gama I'm glad I made you smile, and that you are safe.

Amie and Gama, no I haven't but I'm in some anthologies which is nice, gettin a collection published here is difficult unless you're really well known, but if the workshops I'm doing go well I'm thinking of self publishing my children's poetry and illustraitions as the kids I work with often ask for one.

Fin this started as a shape poem that zig zaged across the page like a naughty firework, but it won't post as it was so I'm glad you like how it flows, hopefully it has the effect of snapping from one immage to another

CJ we always have a big bonfire in the garden, with slimy things to put your hands in, costumes and as everybody brings thier fire works and something to eat it means it can go on for ages, great apart from the mud and the year I found out I was alergic to face paints, good fun for everyone laughing at me

5:45 PM  
Blogger gulnaz said...

with each poem your talent gently smiles!

7:13 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Thank-you Gulnaz what a lovely compliment

6:40 PM  
Blogger Patry Francis said...

I was trying to describe how this poem felt to me, but couldn't find the words. Then I read your comment "snapping from one image to another." And yes, that's exactly it!

Nice work, Sue.

1:56 AM  
Blogger Gama said...

Your words meant so much to me... And keep writing never give up your dreams never.
I will miss you dearly Sue.

My life has turn into shadows and dispair... I don't know if can take this... Someone please tell me this is not happening to me... *Sniffing again*
Why me why me? I feel so lonely and helpless my bones can barely stand still. Something big just happen that I cannot explain.
My blog has marked the end and the worderful friends I have found, friends like you Sue friends that cannot be replaced.
I will miss so dearly. Love always.

8:18 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Gamma I've left a note on your blog

5:58 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Don't like this number

5:58 PM  
Blogger Russell Ragsdale said...

Really beautiful Sue! I think I agree with all the wonderful comments!

2:04 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Thanks Russel, glad the comments agree with you

6:24 PM  
Blogger David said...

Hi Sue hardy-Dawson, I liked your blog. Just out blog surfing looking for info on simple wood working projects when I ended up on your page. Obviously I ended up a little off base, but I am certainly glad I found it. I would like to post your link on my "favorites" page for future reference and reading. Should you ever need it, you can get specific information about simple wood working projects at the site above.

11:07 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:42 PM  

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